No accounting for taste

I know I’ve been harping on Halloween costumes of late, but there’s more to the holiday than that.

There’s also a bevy of terrible movies that SciFi schleps out at Halloween. You know, like “Rose Red”, a miniseries based on a Steven King novel. Like all Steven King adaptations, it inexplicably sucks. The lack of acting ability is matched only by the terrible dialogue and excessive length. Also, it heavily features those not-so-scary animatronic “ghosts” that look really fake.

Usually, this roster is filled out by a bunch of movies that I actually want to watch, namely vampire moves. I will watch pretty much any piece of crap, at least for a little while, if there’s a vampire in it. I might not watch the whole thing, mind you, but I’ll give it a shot.

For instance, I just rented the craptastic Ultraviolet, because the description said that it was about vampires.

Except it wasn’t. What the hell? It wasn’t about vampires at all! Yeah, the people had the fangs, but that’s it. Seriously, what a freaking ripoff!

Anyway, for some reason, there were almost no vampire movies on TV this year. So I’d like to take this opportunity to request, nay, demand, that SciFi removes Rose Red from the lineup and replace all eight hours with vampire movies. You know, quality movies, like BloodRayne and Dracula 3000. Also, I’m still waiting to see Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter, all you TV programmers. Let’s get with it, folks.