Sometimes change is good. This is not one of those times.

I decorated our Christmas tree this past Sunday. Normally, tree-trimming is a ritual involving several highly specific actions that must be completed in order. There are certain foods and drinks that must be present (holiday wine has a big role here), and the decorations must be put on in a certain order (star, lights, garland, then the oldest ornaments, newer ornaments, and finally expendable glass ball ornaments).

Also highly important is the music. I always insist on listening to a certain album: A Very Merry Christmas, Volume 1. You know, one of those holiday albums that retail stores put out in the 60’s. Except it was kind of an early stab at multiculturalism. It features such classics as:

1. Jingle Bells, as performed by Jimmy Dean. Yes, the sausage man. The song also features his very young son, who can barely remember the words. The big payoff comes at the end, when Jimmy ends the tune with a hearty “Ya did it”.


2. Santa Natale, sung by Patti Page. Unlike Feliz Navidad, this effort to bring the Spanish language into the American holiday canon did not catch on. Maybe because it’s a super-slow torch-burner ballad which features backup singers that sound like female muppets. Just a theory.


3. The Star Carol, sung by Simon and Garfunkel. Truly, a beautiful beautiful Christmas song, sung with as much heartfelt passion as you would expect from a couple of Jewish guys from New York. And speaking of Jewish Christmas songs…


4. Sweetest Dreams be Thine, by Theodore Bikel* and the Pennywhistlers. Otherwise known as the Loo Loo Song, after the lyrics in the chorus, which go like this:
   Loo loo loo loo loo loo loo, Loo loo loo loo loo loo loo,
   Loo loo loo loo loo loooooooo loo, loo loo loo loo. (repeat)
   Also known as the “Amhad Rashad” song, because of the incomprehensible lyrics. Well, incomprehensible if you don’t understand Yiddish, anyway. Obviously, this is not technically a song about Christmas, but because I was two when I started listening to the album, it never occurred to me that it wasn’t. Also, because they sing about a baby; I guess I always assumed it was about the lil’ baby Jesus. I know, very small-minded of me.

Anyway, I didn’t get to do the ritual this year. Mainly because I don’t have a record player, and I was too lazy to drive down to my folks and borrow theirs. I had to make do with calling mom (who is always game to break into song, no matter the occasion) and sing the Loo loo song on the phone. Also, I drank some eggnog and watched a marathon of America’s Next Top Model.

* You may also know him as Sergei, Worf’s adopted father on Star Trek TNG. Seriously, no joke.