Dear God!

Yesterday, when I got into work, my boss very excitedly told a co-worker and I that she brought something in for us – Friendship Bread. I thought, “Oh. Bread. Okay.”

But instead of handing us each a piece of a baked product, she gave us each a large, Ziploc bag, which was about one-third full of a creamy goo.*

Mine was dripping slightly.

She started excitedly giving us instructions about how you couldn’t put it in the fridge, and how we need to squeeze it once a day for eight days before we could bake it, and all I could think was “I’m holding a dripping bag of goo.”

She even had a photocopied handout with the instructions on it.

I don’t know about you, but in goo-related situations, my brain tends to shut down and go into panic mode. So instead of doing the polite thing (taking the bag home and throwing it away) all I could think about was having an un-refrigerated mass of yeast sitting on my desk all day.

No thanks.

So I did my best to fight the revulsion in my throat and gave the bag back to her, with some lame excuse about not baking in the summer.

She actually did have some of the finished product to share. It was a quick bread, which tasted like zucchini bread. Frankly, that’s not much of a payoff for fondling a warm goo-bag for a week. Why not just bake zucchini bread? What could possibly make someone try to foist this crap off on unsuspecting co-workers?

I feel kind of bad that I panicked and used bad manners, but what could I do? I think even Miss Manners has an exception for goo-related etiquette.


*For those of you with a strong stomach, the color and texture was like runny pus. See? See? You’d panic too!