Last night Dan and I discussed what would happen if I were a contestant on Yo Momma.*
Contestant #1: Yo mama's armpits so hairy it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock. Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway. Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Me: You know, I never really liked your mom.
Contestant: Yo mama... wait, what?
Me: Yeah, I hate the way she says "Hey Y'all!" all the time. And the onions in her meatloaf are always too raw and crunchy.
Contestant: Um..., see, uh, the thing is...
Me: Oh, and she uses WAY too much Febreze in the house. And it's not even the good kind. It's the crappy kind that smells like apples or something.
*For those of you outside the target demographic for this MTV show (probably all of you) or who have not yet stumbled upon this gleaming monument to popular culture, this is a show hosted by Wilmer Valderrama. I must admit, when he's not dressed as Fez, he's quite a charming and attractive young man. But that's not the point. The point is that contestants trade Yo Mama jokes and the judges decide who is better.
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