Damn youts!

A ne'er-do-well attempted to burgle my car last night. Of course this happened when My Lord and Protector (Dan) was away. However, the theft was thwarted by our time-tested security system, which includes:

1. Super jumpy/hyper dogs which go nuts at the slightest disturbance, real or imagined
2. A motion-sensitive light installed by the former owner (who was a cop)
3. A thick layer of junk in the car, which effectively masks any objects of value

Of course, now, I'll have to implement an even more stringent security device, namely:

1. Lock the car doors, dumbnuts

I called the cops, who verified that I was, in fact, the victim of attempted petit larceny. They immediately sent over a team of experts to take fingerprints , document the contents of the car, test the sensitivity of the motion detector, and interview all the residents in a two-block radius.

Of course I am kidding! They officer I spoke to, while incredibly nice, said it was only necessary to file a report if it would make me feel better, and that mine was the third recent complaint in the area.

And he told me to start locking my doors. But he did not call me dumbnuts. The dumbnuts was implied.