Singing, that is!*
Seriously though, this is an issue near and dear to my heart which I feel needs to be seriously addressed. Recently, on a certain nostalgia-based, talking head montage program on a certain used-to-show-adult-contemporary-music-videos channel, certain c-list celebrities were making fun of scat singing, and Bobby McFerrin in particular.
Ignoring for the moment the total wrongness of making fun of such a talented musician (yes, he just happens to be one of my favorite musicians in the world, but let's not forget he won ten grammies), the reigning opinion seemed to be that scat’s place in the musical pantheon was equal to yodeling, or accordion playing.
Of course, it’s easy to have misconceptions about scat when there’s so much bad singing out there. But, you ask, how can I tell good scat from bad? Relax, it’s easy. Just use my patented Awful Scat Recognition Formula (ASRF).
To tell if a scat singer is bad, count the number of times he or she uses the following words in a song:
- Skibby
- Dwee
- Skwee/Skwiddly
If the singer any one of these words more than once in a song, they are in trouble. If two of the words are used, they are bad singers who have no right to use scat. If they use all three, they are the scat equivalent of Kenny G and should be shot on sight.
With this easy-to-use system, you should be enjoying scat in no time. And remember, scat’s not just for jazz anymore. Like folk and blues? Try a little soulful tune, by Taj Mahal. Want some heavy Beatles influence with your scat? Try 1941, by my personal favorite, Harry Nilsson. Remember, there’s no end to the fun with scat!
* Because scat also means poop! Ha ha, poopy!
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