Even I know not to tell the wife

So on Memorial Day, my husband went to the store.

He was gone a couple of hours. When he got back, he apologized for taking so long, and explained that he had to drive to the nearby amusement park, and there was a parade going on which held up traffic. We had a brief discussion of how it was nice to live in a place with a parade, and where the route went, and so forth.

Then something occurred to me. Why did he drive to the amusement park? This was our conversation, editied for humor:

Him: Oh, just giving someone a ride.

Me: Who needed a ride?

Him: Oh, this girl. She works there.

Me: Really? Huh. Doing what now?

Him: She's a lifeguard.

Me: I didn't know you knew any lifeguards.

Him: I don't. We both were at the library, and she didn't realize it would be closed because of Memorial Day because she's from Columbia, so I offered to give her a ride back to her job at the park.

Me: So, you're telling me that it took you so long at the store because you needed to "give a ride" [yes, I used finger-quotes] to a young, female, Columbian lifeguard that you just met? And now you're telling your wife about it?

Him (slowly it occurs to him that he might be in deep shit): Uh, yyyeah.

Me: You are an idiot.

I don't know what is more pathetic - that he assumed (correctly, I have to admit) that I wouldn't get jealous, or that my biggest concern was making fun of him mercilessly for pulling such a bone-headed move as to tell his wife that he gave a ride to some chick.